Lena Dunham is six months sober after suffering from a dependency on prescription anti-anxiety medication. After she sought help for her anxiety, which she has been dealing with since childhood, she became depended on Klonopin. Page Six reports that her PTSD diagnosis only compounded the issue, but she found help after her mother encouraged her to stop facing the addiction alone.

“I was having crazy anxiety and having to show up for things that I didn’t feel equipped to show up for […] but I know I need to do it, and when I take a Klonopin, I can do it,” Dunham said on Armchair Expert, Dax Shepard’s podcast.

Dunham acknowledged the fact that she knew the Klonopin wasn’t actually helping her deal with the root of the problem, but at the time, she felt like it was the only solution to her crippling anxiety. She explained that her entire life felt like a huge panic attack, especially after her PTSD diagnosis, her hysterectomy, sexual trauma, and other surgeries. While she’s six months sober now, she revealed that she’d been misusing her medication for three years.

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Lena Dunham Today Show

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“I didn’t have any trouble getting a doctor to tell me, ‘No, you’ve got serious anxiety issues, you should be taking this. This is how you should be existing,'” she continued. “It stopped being, ‘I take one when I fly,’ and it started being like, ‘I take one when I’m awake.'”

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It wasn’t easy, however. Dunham told Shepard that the detox was awful, comparing it to “the most hellacious acid trip.” But after she realized that her addiction was affecting her relationship with friends and family, she knew that she had to sort things out. Dunham noted that she convinced herself that she needed the medication to function and that the fact it was prescribed by a doctor made that illusion easier to believe. But now that she’s clean, she sees the addiction for what it really was.

“I’m on my knees grateful every single day,” she said of her sobriety.

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